Road Test

Last week I had to take a road test to get my California license. The guy who gave me the test was so very, very nice. Now think about it, did you ever take a road test from someone who wasn't very, very nice? As we started driving around the blocks in Santa Monica, he talked about how he just gotten out of surgery. For what? For being smooshed in a car by a young driver making a freaked-out left turn. The car accident thing was something that I had already made a note to bring up during the drive, and he had lots of stories. He said they lost a guy last year. What do you call killing your tester during your drive? I call it Taking The Bus For The Rest Of Your Life.

Driving around was kind of fun. I just drove like a little old person-- really slow and deliberate and chilled. Nothing like the lack of urgency when you are not really going anywhere.

The first driving test I took was ten years ago. I was still something of an uncoordinated turner, prompting my tester to ask if I played any sports, maybe? Cause it's just hand-eye coordination, and no reason for you to make weird yawning turns through intersections. At one point, some people walked in front of my car, against their light and the tester had to hit the brake on his side of the car. He said, "They are wrong, you know, but you still have to stop". I'm still kind of amazed he didn't fail me for that. I would have failed me for that.

This driving test was more conversation than testing. We got on, as they say, like a house on fire, and except for occasional breaks for him to tell me to change lanes or turn left, it was a purely social event. He showed me the weird bump in his wrist from the accident. I called another driver an asshole under my breath. He expressed apoplectic shock that I was twenty-nine, which was nice.

License arrives in a week. Maybe I will stick around in California after all.