Dear L.A. Drivers,
Let me start off by acknowledging your special situation as drivers in this particular city. We all know that the transit system sucks (the fact that it advertises itself by urging us to "travel smart" is just another instance of hilarity in advertising). We also all know that this city is a weird conglomeration of districts with no clear center and getting from any one to any other necessitates the car. City planners thought they had created the city of the future with all those freeways but all it has meant is gridlock; I think it's pretty clear to everybody that there are just too many of us.
L.A. Drivers, I admire your mad skills when it comes to maneuvering your way around town. I thought I was a pretty good city driver back in Vancouver, but some of you leave me speechless with your bobbing, your weaving, your floating, your stinging. It's the stinging I'd like to discuss.
L.A. Drivers, I know it's a thrill to find an empty freeway, and I certainly can sympathize with the desire to whip around those beautifully engineered and banked curves. But a good driver is more than someone who can floor it; a good driver knows how to get through the traffic system in a way that supports that system. This means that sometimes you have to slow down. Sometimes you even have to stop. And signals: those things are more than just decoration, they serve to communicate to other people just exactly what it is you plan to do from your position, say, in the middle of oncoming traffic. Do I need to bring up the massive dents in your cars, L.A. Drivers? We've all seen them. What do you think those are from?
Please take these gentle suggestions into consideration.
Yours truly,
Robyn
P.S. You have great left turns!
P.P.S. I know some of you are totally insane. Please avoid white Volvo station wagons from the eighties.
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5 comments:
R-Stop, you should send this to McSweeney's. There's a section for open letters to people who will not respond.
R-stop: You have a great left bumper, if you know what I'm sayin
tV sez:
Try Montreal. LA is NOTHING compared to Montreal.
Reversing down a blocked freeway ramp against traffic at 120clicks?
No problem.
t(c)vv, you are right. the only driving i did in montreal was in a cab to the airport. i was speechless with fright. it was scarier than the new york cab ride with green-gilled doretta after the very hand-held documentary. i never did ride in a car in rome, but i think that would be up there too.
in Hong Kong this summer i noticed an apparent complete lack of any discernible traffic regulations... changing lanes with 2mm to spare between both the cars (busses, trucks!) in front of as well as behind you when going 120km/hr is, um, scary?
chilliwack drivers, on the other hand, are great, except they drive huge trucks and thus just don't bother to look in any direction when they come out into the street because honestly, why should they? and all the curbs in chilliwack are about 7 feet tall - not giving my itty bitty bike wheels much love. :)
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