Neighbors

The annoyingness of our neighbors across the driveway becomes more significant in the summer when everyone's windows are open all the time and despite the curtains and blinds that never get open, it is still possible to hear conversations re: I want to take a shower/but I'm taking a crap/well hurry up/why don't you just go away. This argument was much friendlier (ending with the crapper yelling, "I'm done!") then previous arguments, which have involved shrieking, "Don't touch me!!! Don't touch meeeee!"

I have never seen the sister (aka the toucher, aka the crapper) but I have frequent conversations with the brother (aka the touchee, aka the showerer), who is actually really friendly, built like a Care Bear and says "Oh my god" once a sentence.

So here's where it gets interesting. They somehow got some huge dog in there. I don't know if they are taking care of it for someone or if it's for keeps, but this thing casts a long shadow on their lives. I didn't hear the dog for weeks, but could hear them shouting, "Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado!" to it. Much like I have seen men without experience with babies will say a baby's name to it fourteen times in a row, loudly into its face, as if they are actually communicating a concept.

So this is my Saturday afternoon of late: I'm eating crackers or reading or having a nap and I hear from across the driveway, "Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Sit! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado!"

The dog is maybe as sick of this as I am because this weekend I heard:

"Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado! Mado!"

[a surprisingly loud and deep growl]

"Mado! Why are you growling? Why are you growling? Why are you growling? Why are you growling? Why are you growling?"

[more growling]

"Mado! No--Mado! No biting! No biting!"

And then I shut the window.