The Oncoming Tide of Yule

A good gift, Christmas or otherwise, is something that you want but you wouldn't buy for yourself. Hence anything called a "gift store" is sure to be full of all kinds of mostly useless doohickeys. Now, luckily for anyone getting me a gift, there are currently a whole bunch of things that fit this category, including most meat products at the grocery store and more than one kind of cheese at a time. And, you know, shoes, haircuts, all those things that seem so expensive as to ultimately be unnecessry when you are spending a lot of money on tuition and not taking very much in in wages.

In the past week, I have discovered the new Marshall (Family) Plan of Christmas shopping. Go in the store, follow the person around, get them to try on things, consult with them over size, discuss which colour they like and then tell them to go find their mother. Meet up with them in five minutes carrying a bag with the name of the store you were both just in on it. Continue to the next store.

This is completely unsubtle and yet so brilliant I can't get over it. As my mother will eagerly attest, I'm a picky bugger to shop for, especially for clothes (cf: arguments over how fabric should behave when covering one's posterior, Summer 2005) and this just solves everthing so neatly.

And anyway, the thrill of opening the unknown is highly overrated. Like when I was in Japan and for Christmas I just wanted my mom to send me own belongings, rather than random new stuff. Anyway, my mom's penchant for hiding unwrapped presents under the bed of the person she's going to give them to often spoils that. This kind of shopping is smart in the same way premarital sex is smart. Both also fun to boot.

And if any of you still haven't got presents for people... give up and get them a donation to a charity already! At this point you're desperate and you'll just end up buying crap so you might as well buy shoes for kids in Pakistan instead.

World Vision
Red Cross
United Way
UNICEF
The Harvest Project