Time to Whip the Caulk Out

All those people who complain about blogs: if you really want to get rid of them, get rid of the necessity of washing dishes and doing paperwork. Then we'll all go outside or fall asleep on the couch, and not live in this faux borderland between getting shit done and wasting time.

But anyway: I came home on Thursday to find that tiny ants had colonized my kitchen. They were taking scenic tours through my pile of bags of Trader Joe's mixed nuts. They were spelunking under the fridge. They were running sporting events along the edge of the rug. And they were hosting full-fledged formal dances under the corner cabinet.

Now, I'm a post-colonialist, myself. I don't take my territory being taken over by other factions lying down. Look what happened in Africa for chrissakes. And my wonderful mother had just bought me a vacuum.

You can guess what happened next. A lot of squishing. A lot of satisfying ant-disappearing acts up the mouth of my fearsome loud Dirt Devil. A lot of spraying vinegar in large puddles on the floor.

Today I bought some poison for them. So far they like it very much.



I also got some caulk to seal up the massive gap between the baseboard and the floor that currently acts as a red carpet into my house for everything on six legs. Though they be many, they are no match for me, for I have access to the hardware store.

Also: Tilda Swinton is to Broken Flowers as Cate Blanchett is to The Shipping News. And I love them both.