So those celebrity people had their baby and the paramedics just pulled up outside and took away the pregnant lady across the street. I know cause I stood at the window and watched. All these big burly men in navy blue t-shirts and fire-fighting pants were wandering around and then they brought her out on the gurney. She was lying on her side and they had trouble getting the gurney inside the ambulance. They rammed it into the back of the ambulance again and again and the legs wouldn't collapse and her body was shifting on the gurney every time they drove metal into metal and finally the legs gave way and they shut the doors on her. Then the burly men shook the hand of the man who came out of the house, got back into their ambulance and fire truck and drove away.
If it's gross and scary to read this, think how she must have felt.
In related news, I've decided that this wave of all our favourite celebs getting pregnant is going to give way to all of our favourite celebs breaking their forearms. This may sound bizarre, but I feel like I've seen an inordinately high number of forearm casts on campus lately. It really is a pretty easy leap from pregnancy, in fetish terms. Body modification: check. Pain and feebleness involved: check. Fun to decorate: check. See, anorexia went out because it's not as much fun to accesorize as a baby bump. Sign my cast!
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2 comments:
I hope she was lying on her *left* side...this alleviates pressure placed on the vena cava by the exaggerated uterus and allows for better venous return in moments of maternal or fetal distress: more venous return equals better ergo cardiac output, meaning more oxygenated blood returns to your neighborhood fetus.
she was lying on her left side. well spotted.
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